Everytime
by Red Eyed Cajun
Summary: Just a Songfic to Britiney Spears new song Everytime. Rogue just cant seem to forget the man she left behind. Romy.
1. Everytime

Disclaimer: I Don't own X-men but if i did we would see a big change. (Insert Evil laugh here.) So until Wolvierine and Gambit put on pink neon trousers with matching pink tops an dance to Justin Timberlake (Um..........) Make mine marvel!!!

Everytime  
  
"So did you hear what happened?"  
  
"Only a little bit."  
  
"So did she leave him?"  
  
"Oh yeah. She left him."

"I cant believe She'd do that! Wasn't he innocent!"

"Uh huh. An Rogue aint exactly sqeaky clean either though. What right did she have. All the other X-men are blaming it on her powers and how it was actually his fault he was left behind."  
  
"Thats bull crap. She could have fought against it."  
  
The two students of Xavier's School for gifted Youngsters stood in the elevator, unaware that I was behind them.

_Notice me__  
Take my hand_The doors opened and the two girls walked out nearly colliding with the School's Danger Room teacher Logan. He saw me standing in the elevator and joined me. "Hiya stripe's." He said.  
  
"hi." I said softly.   
  
"Coming for a danger room session?" he asked, "It'll me make you feel better."  
  
"Ah suppose." I said shrugging my shoulders.

_Walk with me  
_

_Strangest Land.  
__  
_As the elevator dropped to the desired floor Logan said, "How ya holdin' up?"  
  
"Ah'v been better." I said leaning my head against the wall of silver metal, "Ah cant stop thinkin' bout him Logan." I felt a comforting arm go round my shoulders and I stared into Logan's dark eyes. "Ah still love him Logan."  
  
_Our love was strong_

_Why cant it open me?_  
  
The doors opened at the floor that housed the famed danger room and we both stepped out. "Don't worry stripes. Everything's gonna be okay."  
  
We walked into the Danger room to be met by Kurt, Scott and Jean. Each of them looking at me with pity. I saw the way Kurt shifted on his feet uncomfortably, the way Scott crossed his arms and the way Jean walked towards me her arms reaching out to hug me. "Are you sure you want to do this Rogue? I mean your still recovering from Antarctica." I pushed her away, I didn't want her help. "Ah'm fahne." I said angrily, "Now lets get on with this." The danger room session started. There were senitals coming at me from all sides. I felt small, weak, cold. Cold? It was boiling in the danger room. It always was. Why did I feel cold? I began to shiver uncontrollably. The senitals were getting closer. I gathered my strength together and flew up in the air. But as soon as I was up there, I froze. My eye's closed and I saw a blizzard move towards me. Getting closer and closer. I began to fall, the snow swirling around me, suffocating me. I heard a voice, "ROGUE!". It was Logan. But he was too late. I hit the danger room floor and felt a searing pain run down my back.  
  
_Everytime I try to fly I fall  
  
Without my wings  
  
I feel so small  
  
I guess I need you baby  
  
_I opened my eyes and I saw him. Staring down at me with those eyes. His hair flopping down at the sides of his head. He smiled and said, "What have a told ya chere. Never fly before you can run."  
  
_And every time I see you in my dreams  
  
I see your face  
  
It's haunting me  
  
I guess I need you baby  
_  
And then I closed my eyes and everything went dark.  
  
When I woke up I found myself in the hospital bay, with Logan looking down on me. "Ya'll right Stripe's? Ya gave us quite a fright."  
  
It took me a while to hear what he was saying but then I remembered, "Where is he?" I asked sitting up.  
  
"Who?" Asked Logan looking confused.  
  
"Gambit! He was here I saw him. Where is He?" I screamed.  
  
Logan looked at me and took my hand. "Rogue. Gambit's not here. It was probably just a hallucination. Rogue?"  
  
I was looking over his shoulder. There he was. Standing in the corner of the Hospital bay. Grinning like he always was. He walked towards the bed, his trench coat flying out behind him. He came up to the side of the bed and bent over and kissed me on the head. "Bye Chere."  
  
Slowly the tears welled up in my eyes. "No gambit. Don't go. Not yet. Please." "Rogue. Who are you talking to?" Asked Logan, "There's no one else here." "I'm sorry Chere. Dis be ma que t' leave. Au revoir."  
  
"NO! REMY! COME BACK PLEASE! I NEED YOU!" I shouted the tears freely running down the side of my cheek.  
  
_I make believe  
  
That you are here  
  
It's the only way  
  
I see clear  
_  
"Rogue Please, clam down." said Logan putting his hands on my shoulders.   
  
"I'm Sorry Remy. I'm sorry. Please, come back. COME BACK!" I screamed as I watched him walk out the door. "I'm Sorry!"  
  
_What have I done  
  
You seem to move uneasy_  
  
I Shrugged off Logan's hands and tried to fly out of the bed but I fell to the floor. "Rogue. Please. Stop. Your not ready to get up yet."  
  
"He was here Logan. Why didn't you see him?! He was here! Bring him back! Bring him back!" I screamed crying harder than ever before and beating Logan's chest with my fists.   
  
"Rogue. Gambit is dead." I looked up into Logan's eyes and shook my head, "I'm sorry. But he is. There is no way he could have survived. He's gone Rogue. Forever."  
  
_And Every time I try to fly I fall   
  
Without my wings   
  
I feel so small  
  
I guess I need you baby  
  
And every time I see you in my dreams  
  
I see your face   
  
it's haunting me  
  
I guess I need you baby  
_  
I spent the next two weeks in my room, in the dark, alone. I wouldn't let anyone in. There would be times when I let Kitty in, I would cry and she would tell me it would be okay. But she was away on a mission with storm to Korea. I was alone. It didn't matter where I went I would always see him. I saw him in every face, every stranger that came to the mansion looked like him. Logan was right. He was dead.   
  
I looked out the window and saw the rain hit off the glass. The tears began to fall down my face again. I lay back in my bed and felt someone wrap their arms around me and whisper in my ear softly, "Don't cry chere. Don't cry."  
  
_I've made (I've made)   
  
It rain  
  
Please Forgive me.  
  
My weakness caused you pain  
  
And this song's my sorry  
_  
I thought of all the times that we had been together. The good and the bad. There had been a few bad times, but even then we had been together. No matter how much I pushed him away he kept coming back. And no matter how many times he disappeared he came back. But not this time. This time he had disappeared for good. "oh god please," I whispered to the room, "Help me forget. I don't want to love him. Help me forget."  
  
_At night I pray  
  
That soon your face will fade away_  
  
The door opened and Logan walked in. I sat up quickly and wiped away the tears running down my face. "Hiya stripe's." he said sitting down beside me. "I got some good news for you."  
  
'Good news?' I thought, 'There's no good news. Not now'  
  
"Kitty and Storm are back. Want to come down and see them?" he asked. The way he said it, it was if he was urging me to come down and see them. As though there was a hidden meaning to his words.  
  
"Not jus' now Logan." I said lying back on the bed.  
  
"Please Rogue." he said pulling on her hands.   
  
I looked into his eyes and saw them full of excitement. I looked back out the window. "Go down and see dem chere. I'll wait for you." Whispered the voice that she always heard.  
  
I turned back round to face Logan an smiled weakly. "Looks like I have no choice."  
  
When I stood up, my legs felt weak but I forced my self to walk. Suddenly I was overcome by memories. Memories of me and Gambit.  
  
_An Every time I try to fly I fall  
  
Without my wings_  
  
I remembered the love we had shared together. The embraces we had stolen. I started to walk with Logan, but my legs felt as though they were about to give way. The tears started rolling down my cheeks again.  
  
_I feel so small  
  
I guess I need you baby  
_  
I felt Logan put his arm around my shoulders and whisper, "It's going to be okay Rogue. Don't worry."  
  
I couldn't stop them now. The waves of tears kept cascading down the side of my face. There was no stopping them. Just like there was no way I could stop loving Remy. Never. He may be gone from me, but I could never stop loving him.   
  
_An every time I see you in my dreams  
  
I see your face  
  
Its haunting me_  
  
We were close to the front door now. The first person I saw was Storm. Her white hair falling neatly down her back. Then I saw kitty. She turned and smiled at me. And then I saw him. He looked straight at me. The man that had been haunting my dreams for months. He walked towards me, holding his arms out, reaching towards me. He held me in his arms as I cried into his chest and held him tight. He brought his mouth to my ear and whispered one word, "Chere."  
  
_I guess I need you baby._


	2. Shadow

Disclaimer: Don't own anything and I am not making a profit and I wasn't going to continue this but hey, why not. 

Something wasn't right. I could feel the bones under his trench coat, as if there was no flesh there, just a skeleton. He was shivering, but it was the middle of summer.

"Remy?" I whispered, and then I saw his eyes.

Normally the colour of them was enough to scare anyone but it was a skull that looked back at me. His eyes had been swallowed back into his head, there was glimmer in them, only a deep nothingness. He looked at me, but he didn't see me, he was seeing something else and it was scaring him.

_Your body's warm._

_But you are not _

_You give a little _

_Not a lot_

He was back. That was all that mattered, a few days and he would be himself again, that happy, cocky, arrogant Cajun that I used to know. That I loved. But then, there was that look.

_It could be love _

_Until we kiss _

_You're all I want _

_But not like this_

"Chere!" he whispered only this time it was quiet and unsure. Ororo moved towards him and gently took his arm. He jumped but when he saw that it was her he calmed down and smiled. What was wrong? Why was he acting this way? Slowly she began to pull him away.

_I'm watching you disappear _

_But you, you were never here_

"Come on. Come with me and we'll run some tests"

"Tests?" he asked pulling his arm away from her.

"Just to make sure you're ok." She said still smiling at him and holding out her hand to him.  
He looked round at me as if for confirmation that it was ok for him to go.

"Can ah come with him"  
That's when the smile faded from her lips. They were hiding something, they all were.

"I don't think it would be a good idea Rogue. What you will see, it wont be able to watch"

"What's going on? Why cant I come with him"

They didn't answer. Neither did Remy. Logan held on to my arm and I just watched. I watched as Ororo and Kitty took him away from me. He was still smiling, but it didn't reach his eyes. Maybe, it was too late.

_It's only your shadow _

_Never yourself_

_It's only your shadow _

_Nobody else _

_It's only your shadow _

_Filling the room _

_Arriving too late _

_And leaving too soon_

"Don't worry," said Logan, "He's in good hands."

* * *

Remy was in good hands. Hank did everything to heal the cuts and bruises that Remy had acquired from that frozen wasteland. How he survived no one knew, but the scars that the others told me about only showed that it had not been an easy trip home. Ororo and Kitty had found him in South Korea and from what they had seen he was ok, he still fought well, that charm that was so unique to him was there. It was on the trip back that he had began to show signs of pain.  
There had been hallucinating as well and it was only after I had interrogated Kitty did I find out that most of the hallucinations had been me.

I stood watching him while he slept on the hospital bed, knowing that it was my fault that he was there.

"It wasn't your fault"

I didn't need to look up to see who was reading my thoughts. I watched her hands moving across him making sure that all the dressings and tubes were in place. I felt so distant, unable to reach out to him, unable to be doing this for him. Absorbing powers made people dangerous and unsuitable for medical purposes.

_Your body gives _

_But then holds back _

_The sun is bright _

_The sky is black_

"How is he?" I asked avoiding the argument that would have followed if I had denied her statement.

"Physically. He's getting better." she said checking his heart rate.

It was hard to believe that he was getting better. He still looked like a skeleton with his skin hanging off him. And the cuts, there was so many of them. The Sh'iar Suit had protected him from frostbite but it hadn't protected him from hunger or slashes from beasts in the savage land. I saw five slash marks running right across his stomach.

"They are old scars." she said following my gaze.

I hadn't noticed them before, they looked like they were deep cuts. But they weren't from any knife.

"Where are they from"

This time I caught her eye, "Morlock Tunnels. When he tried to save Sarah, Sabertooth attacked him"

"How d'ya know that?" She tried to look away "Jean. How did ya know that. Did he tell ya"

"You have to understand Rogue that what Remy has been through was damaging both Physically and…Mentally. His normal defences are not in place, I can see everything, his memories, his thoughts"

"But there's something wrong aint there?"

_Can only be another sign _

_I cannot keep what isn't mine _

_You left and it lingers on _

_But you, you were almost gone_

"Its all a jumble, nothing makes sense. Naturally he should be experiencing post-traumatic stress, anyone would in those conditions, but there's something not right with this. Somehow, its worse. Rogue, not all of this is because of Antarctica, something else happened out there"

But I still did it. I left him behind. It didn't matter if something else had hurt him out there, but I hurt him more than anyone else could.

_It's only your shadow _

_Never yourself_

_It's only your shadow _

_Nobody else _

_It's only your shadow Filling the room _

_Arriving too late _

_And leaving too soon_

From the brief moments that he had been awake she had sat talking to him. Most of the time he talked nonsense and wasn't really talking to me but through me, to something else. And then there were times when he would talk and it would be the old Remy, he would make jokes, he would smile and he would see me. Those moments were getting rarer and yet, when I saw him he didn't hate me. He never showed any sign of hating me for what I did to him.

"Because he told you to do it Rogue. You absorbed him before that and his emotions were still running through you. He wanted to be left and he knows that, he knows it wasn't your fault"

That didn't matter anymore. It didn't matter if he still loved me or if I still loved him. He was slipping away from me anyway.

_I cannot tell if you mean what you say _

_You say it so loud, but you sound far away _

_Maybe I had just a glimpse of your soul _

_Or was that your shadow I saw on the wall _

_I'm watching you disappear _

_But you, you were never here_

"He's waking up. I'll get Hank"

His eyes were open and he was trying to sit up.

"Jus' sit back swamp rat or yer gonna make yerself worse." I said trying to keep up his spirits.

He smiled.

It was enough to know that it was my Remy that had woken up.

"How ya feelin' sugah"

"never betta." he said quietly.

"Liar"

"ma poppa used t'say, 'stick t'what yer good at"

More jokes. Ironic how underneath there was an issue that neither of us had touched on. Lying. I wasn't going to get into it now, I didn't care just now. I knew that he would only be here for a while, then he would slip back.

_It's only your shadow _

_Never yourself _

_It's only your shadow _

_Nobody else It's only your shadow _

_Filling the room_

"how, how long was I out fo' dis time?" he asked

"Couple of hours. The whole mansion was complainin bout yer snoring"

He laughed. It was a dry awkward sound but it was still a laugh.

He was staring right into my eyes and for the first time since he got back there, the smile reached his eyes. There was that old glint again.

_Arriving too late_

He reached out for my hand. Then stopped. He wasn't looking at me anymore. The glint disappeared, as did the smile. He was looking through me again, and whatever he saw, he was frightened.

"LEAVE HER! LEAVE HER ALONE!" he shouted at the wall behind me.

"Remy, Remy please calm down calm down, its just an hallucination"

He was sitting up and thrashing at the empty space. It was hurting him to move he wasn't well enough to be doing this.

"HANK!" I shouted trying to restrain Remy.

Suddenly the doctor was there and he already had the syringe ready with the sedative.

"Hold him Rogue."

_And leaving too soon_

Slowly he began to settle back and become the skeleton again. Hollow. Remy would be back, but for now he lay back as the sedative began to take control.

"We need to act quickly. We need to find out what or who did this to him"

"What, what d'ya suggest we do?" I said not looking at them unable to tear my eyes away from the man in front of me.

"I think its time we went back"

I nodded.

'Better pack some warm clothes chere, its gets pretty cold out dere'

Somehow, it was comforting knowing that my Remy was still there, in my head, urging me on, giving me advice. I don't know how I would have got through these past couple of days without him. But still, it wasn't him. And I needed the real thing.

_It's only your shadow_


End file.
